Salvia exploded my brain.
My new year's resolution is to continue being exactly as happy as I am right now. And maybe spend less money. ♥
happy, happy, happy, happy. pink.
I've never longed for home this hard before. I know that I don't have to do anything and time will just pass and I'll come home, but it seems like I'm going to be stuck inside a snowglobe forever. I miss my mom, and my cat, and my boyfriend, and my family, and Panera Bread and sushi. I miss my comfy bed and I miss being able to go outside without 9999 layers of clothing on. I miss smoking weed whenever I want and not having to hide it. I miss feeling like myself and I think it's hard for me to do that when I'm away. Becky's family seems so unhappy. They are always snapping at each other and it's kind of tense in this house. Did I mention it's been about 5 degrees here the entire time? I feel like an idiot for having this great opportunity to go to Europe and getting here and complaining, but I feel SO out of place. I miss constant kisses and snuggles. I feel like a fish out of water. Or, you know, someone born and raised in a tropical climate plucked up and dropped into the arctic. Not pleasant. It isn't that huge of a deal, being across the ocean. It's just really, really far from home and it makes me feel cold to think about it. At least we just went to the library and I found Necklace of Kisses, one of my favorite books ever ever ever, and it's making me feel warm. I've been reading a whole lot since I've been here. As unhappy and lonely as I may feel, maybe this is an experiment in getting to know myself. Maybe.
And it's SNOWING! You have no idea how big of a deal this is for me. Having lived in Savannah for, you know, always, I've only seen snow once before, and it was like five years ago in NYC where the snow turns to grey slush as soon as it hits the ground anyway. It looks like a winter wonderland outside. I am sooo happy. I miss Boy too much for words though, and it's going to be another thirteen days before I see him. I've never been away from home for this long, but at least I'm not bored.
I also want to dye my hair pink (yes, again) really, really badly. I'm just worried about the effect bleach is going to have on my hair. I shudder when I remember my high school days where my hair was always bleached but also always falling out and feeling and looking crappy. Sigh.
Going with Becky to take her little sister Christmas shopping <3~~~
cigarettes smoked: 1 and 1/4.
A week from tomorrow I'm leaving for NYC for a couple of days with Kittykat. I'm suuuuuuuuuper excited, and up until like a week ago it was going to be the most fun thing to happen to me in like a year. :D And it still is going to be fun! I've been saving up my money for months (haven't got a whole lot though. terrible at saving money) etc, and then last week Becky was talking about how she's going to Germany over Christmas, and her mom is going to take her to Paris. Randomly, my mom is all "why isn't Carol going with you?" and Becky is all "umm, can Carol afford to go with me?" and I'm like "no," and my mom is like "sure why not!!!!"
So, now I'm going to Germany and France with Becky for a few weeks. O_________O For the first, like, thirty seconds I didn't want to go, and then I was like WAIT, OF COURSE I WANT TO GO. I've never been anywhere out of the country. It should be a life-changing experience. Also this permanently ups my cool status, the whole having-been-to-Europe thing. Amirite?
I'm still retardedly excited about NYC with Kitty too. It's my favorite place in the world and TBC LATER BOYFRIEND IS CUTE AND SMELLS NICE
Okay boyfriend smells really nice and is really cute. We watched a really weird movie with Denzel Washington and John Lithgow (the guy from 3rd rock from the sun!?) from about a million years ago. Now since it is almost 7 am I should probably go to sleep. But first I read.